If you’ve experienced a great love or two, will you have another? I was talking to a good friend of mine who has been divorced for about 5 years now. He told me that he has had two great loves in his life. One was his college girlfriend and the other was his ex-wife. He shared that he felt lucky to have had two great loves, but believes that he may not get another one. It made me question my thoughts on soul mates, great loves, twin flames…just the whole true love equation. How many true loves do we get? Is there such a thing as a soul mate and if you thought you had it and are now not together, what does that mean? Are we like cats with 9 lives and only get so many true love chances in our lives?
I believe that if you’ve experienced that soul gripping love at least once in your life, you are lucky. Even if it didn’t last a lifetime, you felt that thing that songs and movies are written about. I also believe that if you’ve felt it once, then you are capable of feeling it again. I’ve read many theories on love, including the one on three loves. I’ll paraphrase; our first is the young love, the second is the hard love and the third is the love we never see coming. When I read it I started going through my loves and who was what in that scenario. Then I got worried and thought, crap what if I had 3 and am now out of love lives! Then I remember that it is just a theory and who is to say who and when that last love is. What if it’s more of a scale and everyone we have loved is on the scale and only some fit in the 1,2, or 3 slots? I hope that true love is more like Skeeball and you keep getting balls until you sink it in the little middle circle.
The older I get the stronger I believe that it’s not just about finding the right person, but also being the right person. It may be that we have to get ourselves healthy and be refined before we find that heart stopping, yet peacefully freeing love. I never want to believe that we run out of chances at love. I also want to believe that no matter your age or history you can still feel the butterflies. There are some who find that true love early in life and never waiver. I don’t know why they got it right and the rest of us struggle, but I love hearing their stories. I also love hearing the stories of the couple who finds love in the nursing home or the ones who reunite with their first love, which then becomes their third love (the one they never saw coming).
There are as many different love stories as there are theories. I don’t believe it’s a one size fits all or one love theory fits all. Something I’m realizing is that it takes not only a belief in love and that you deserve it, but also a big squishy heart. One of my new favorite authors, Danielle LaPorte writes in her book, ‘White Hot Truth’, ‘Open, gentle heart. Big *&^%$#@ fence!’. I take it to mean don’t let broken love harden you. Keep your heart soft and open but be wise who you let inside that big fence of yours. Some of us might have barbed wire on top of our fence, but that’s another blog.
My first love…prom…not telling you the year! 😉