Reluctantly I am back on the dating scene. I said I would never, ever do this online thing again. Ever. Like I really meant I’d rather have a root canal minus drugs and have my hair on fire before doing this again, yet here I am. Why? I meet almost no one single. I live in the ‘burbs where it’s all married folk and old older folks. I also go to the grocery during senior citizen hour and my gym is where I work out and I really can’t distract myself because I don’t want to be there anyway. Work guys are off limits and honestly I don’t think we really have any here (Bueller, Bueller…). Church- let’s be honest I feel really guilty, like really guilty looking for a guy at church. I should be concentrating on getting my Jesus on and instead I’m trying to see if ‘he’ has a ring on. What’s left? Friends? Trust me I’ve hit them all up asking if they know anyone. Holding a sign up on I-25? Desperate. My mystery golfer that I was convinced I was going to meet and fall in love with? Never happened. Hence why I’m back online. Is it better than last time? Nope. Are there some of the same guys cruising around that were there last time? Yep, but maybe they think that about me? Or have they been circling the drain this whole time?? Not really sure on that one.
This time online I said I would do things radically different. I set up my parameters super tight to reflect what I really wanted and didn’t want. Some people might say I’m being picky, but I’d honestly rather be single than be in a dating situation that I would regret. I have learned a lot since the last time I dated online. I see a red flag in the profile and it’s a swipe left! For those folks that are happily coupled – left is the swipe of death. I swipe left a lot. I’m not compromising on the basics this time around. It’s difficult too, because I know that some of these guys I might meet out and like them based on their personality. Unfortunately in the swiping world, personality doesn’t come across UNLESS they’ve taken the time to write a stellar profile. I have had that happen and decided to swipe right. I swipe right a lot less than I did in the past. Then I even reevaluate my right swipes and thin out the very small heard. Online dating sucks.
Also, this time around I don’t meet anyone unless I’m really interested in them AND I’ve heard their voice. A Mickey Mouse voice is a total turn-off and I can’t do it. I also have to see and hear if that person can have a conversation. I have learned that there are great texters who are a deer in the headlights in person. The last guy I had dinner with tested all my communication skills. My girlfriends told me, “You can talk to a tree.” After that one – Tree-1 Me-0. Oh and he wouldn’t make eye contact and chewed on his finger. Awesome. Why did I agree to dinner?
I admit after the short time that I’ve been back online I’m already over it. I’ve seen enough hiking, fishing, biking, running and beer pictures to last me a lifetime. I’ve heard that the women don’t post these same types of pictures. Apparently I’m also one of the few women without a bikini or lingerie picture online. Really? That’s not happening. I still don’t know if this is true or if this guy was just testing me to see if I’d send him one. I didn’t. I sent him a picture of my shoe. Should have swiped left.