I want that Boombox, John Cusack – Say Anything kind of love. That movie was my movie and that was my scene (see above). It’s hard to believe that it’s been 30 years ago since I went with my high school boyfriend and saw it in the movie theaters in Massachusetts. It was the movie of our generation and maybe that’s why it still holds a place in my heart. It had all the quintessential female butterflies in the stomach moments. An interesting rebel of a guy pursuing the ‘good’ girl. It had perseverance, forgiveness, self awakening and ultimately love. It was that great Rom-Com (Romantic-Comedy) that I feel like is more my life than The Notebook – which I also adore. It was awkward at times and awkward is my specialty!
I find it funny/sad/surprising that 30 years later I’m dating again (or not at the moment) and relating to a movie that came out when I was a teenager. I honestly thought I’d be at a lot further along in my love life than this! Let’s be honest, who in their 40’s and single thought this was how life would work out? I also never would have imagined that dating would mean going on a computer or my phone and swiping left or right. I never thought I’d meet someone in person whom I’d never heard their voice, didn’t know their last name or anything about them. Sure, that sounds like a great idea – great idea for a Lifetime movie where the girl is never heard from again! When I first started in this new world of dating I told my girlfriends that if something happened to me to please make sure the picture on the news was me looking hot. Don’t put the picture of me pretending to be Axel Rose with my tongue out in the media. I know a little macabre – but hey, I excel in awkward.
Most of the guys I’ve dated are no Lloyds (John Cusack). There is no pursuing, no sacrificing and definitely no Boombox held over their heads playing Peter Gabriel’s ‘In Your Eyes’. I don’t know if it’s age or whom I’m picking but they’ve been the opposite of Lloyds. It’s been all about convenience (for them). If it wasn’t convenient, it didn’t happen. I understand jobs, children and life but relationships aren’t always convenient. Like it or not sometimes it’s about compromise and sometimes – sacrifice. A girlfriend of mine recently when through a big surgery that had her home for a couple of weeks. Her boyfriend used this time to golf, go out with the guys and basically treat it like she was home watching the house so he could get his guy time on. The more we talked the more I realized why she was upset. She said that when he had surgery she did the opposite. She stayed home, took care of him and didn’t go out as much with her girlfriends. My favorite comment from her, “Do you think I wanted to be home all those nights?!” Is this a man/woman difference thing? Are we at ages where we are more set in our ways and just not willing to sacrifice? Is it unrealistic to expect something more? I have no idea. I’m obviously still single and awkward.
My 40 something brain that is more rational and self sufficient doesn’t know if I can still have that boombox type of love. Some of my friends say it’s possible, others say those days are long gone. Are they? If there is no boombox kind of love, then what kind of love is out there for us? I find that the older I am the less I know about a lot of things, especially love. If you figure it out, let me know. Until then I’ll be watching Say Anything and thinking that my Lloyd is out there. Trench coat and high tops not required.