Southwest might be polishing its ‘Premium Seats’ while us peasants fight the crumbs

Southwest Airlines is reportedly considering a tiered cleaning system, fueling speculation that future “premium” seats will receive a level of sanitation that the common folk in the back might not be privy to.

The airline, which is officially pivoting away from its open-seating model to introduce assigned premium options, is allegedly looking at cleaning protocols that prioritize the “upgraded” crowd. It remains to be seen if this means standard rows will receive a simple vacuuming or if the airline will just throw a blanket over the mess and wish everyone a pleasant flight.

While the airline hasn’t confirmed that it plans to ignore the cleanliness of the rest of the cabin, the mere suggestion has passengers wondering if their boarding passes will now double as a voucher for basic hygiene. It’s a brave new world for Southwest: assigned seats, assigned perks, and—allegedly—assigned levels of sanitation.

For passengers in row 25, the takeaway is clear: Bring your own disinfectant wipes. And maybe a hazmat suit. Just in case.