Get your carb fix: The Big Idaho Potato Truck is rolling into Colorado Springs

Because apparently a regular-sized side dish isn’t enough to satisfy our collective obsession with nightshades, the Big Idaho Potato Truck is lugging its four-ton fiberglass cargo into Colorado Springs tomorrow.

The massive spud is scheduled to park its oversized wheels at the Texas Roadhouse on 8th St. on March 6. It’s all part of a national tour designed to prove that if you build a giant version of a vegetable, people will, for some reason, pull over their cars to take a selfie with it.

For those keeping track at home, the “potato” strapped to the back of the semi is roughly 800 times the size of a standard Russet. If it were real, it would reportedly take about 7,000 years to bake—which is still slightly less time than the current Friday night wait for a table at the Texas Roadhouse. Since the potato is actually made of concrete and fiberglass, we strongly advise against bringing your own gallon of sour cream and a shovel.

 There is a certain poetic irony in staring at a 28-foot-long tuber before heading inside to consume its much smaller, butter-slathered cousins alongside a 12-ounce ribeye.

The Big Idaho Potato Truck has been hauling its “Grown in Idaho” payload across the lower 48 for over a decade, presumably because someone at the Idaho Potato Commission realized that a giant fiberglass vegetable is the only thing capable of distracting Americans from their phones for five minutes.

So, mark your calendars for March 6. Just try to keep your “eyes” on the road—and please, don’t try to mash it.