First Dates: Romance, Reality and the Real Cost of Saying “Hello”

Let’s be honest — first dates are a lot. You’re basically auditioning for the role of someone’s potential life partner while trying to remember to make eye contact and not talk about your ex. No pressure. And now, thanks to some fresh data, we know the stakes — and the price tag — are higher than ever.

Someone’s Getting a Free Meal, and It Might Not Be You

A new survey by J.G. Wentworth pulled back the curtain on something a lot of people have thought about but few openly admit: using a date as an excuse to eat well on someone else’s dime.

Turns out, 39.9% of singles have gone on a date purely for a free meal. And before you judge them, another 27.5% say they haven’t done it — but they’d totally consider it. Only 32.6% of singles have never even entertained the idea. So basically, if you’re taking someone out for the first time, there’s a solid chance they’re more excited about the bread basket than they are about you. Fun!

The Bill: Nobody Wants to Talk About It, But Everybody’s Thinking About It

Money and dating have always had a complicated relationship, and the numbers prove it. According to the J.G. Wentworth survey, the average amount spent on a first date is $93, and singles expect their dating partner to spend $92 on a first date — which, honestly, is so close it’s almost funny. You’re both doing the same math in your heads before the check even hits the table.

The rules for proper dating behavior are constantly in flux — what was right just five years ago may be considered archaic or even insulting today, and that includes who ought to pick up the tab on the first date.

That said, tradition is alive and well. A majority of Americans still hold traditional views: Over 70% believe that in heterosexual relationships the man should pay on the first date. Although 68% of women expect their male dates to pick up the tab, even more men — 78% — place that expectation on themselves.

And if you’re already stressed reading this, you’re not alone. Two-thirds of Americans — 67.9% — feel stressed about finances when organizing a date, while three-quarters (74.6%) are opting for more low-cost alternatives.

So What Are People Actually Doing on These Dates?

According to the J.G. Wentworth data, the top three first date activities are grabbing a drink at a bar (37.5%), a board game night (35.5%) and a walk in the park (8.2%). Honestly, that tracks. Low stakes, easy escape routes, and you can gauge someone’s personality by how they handle losing at Jenga.

Americans still prefer the tried and trusted restaurant date, with 47.8% of respondents choosing it as their preferred way to get to know someone. But with first date costs hovering around $93, it’s no surprise people are increasingly leaning into more casual settings.

For context, the cost of a traditional date night can be surprisingly high — according to 2024 data collected by MoneyGeek, the average date night involving dinner and a movie in America is $123. So yeah, that board game night at a bar is starting to look pretty smart.

Only 13.4% of singles say they’d definitely go on a first date that costs $100 or more, which means most people are keeping their wallets — and their expectations — in check.

Financial Compatibility Is Actually a Big Deal

Here’s the number that should really make you think: 85% of people have turned down a second date due to financial incompatibility with their partner. That’s not just about who paid — that’s about lifestyle, priorities and whether someone’s spending habits give you anxiety. Additional survey data shows this financial tension translates into real discomfort, with 68.6% of people admitting to feeling uncomfortable on a date because of how much it would cost, and six in 10 singles having argued over who pays the bill.

Who pays can be a very fraught subject when it comes to dating etiquette. It’s best to be clear ahead of time who’s paying, even if talking about money feels awkward — that way, you can enjoy the actual date without worrying what’s waiting for you at the end.

The Bottom Line

First dates are equal parts exciting and exhausting, and the data makes it clear that money — whether anyone wants to admit it or not — is sitting right there at the table with you. Whether you’re splitting the check, picking it up or quietly calculating whether that appetizer was worth it, the financial dynamic of a first date says more than you think.

First dates are not about perfection — they are about connection. First date etiquette is about respect, thoughtfulness, and making your partner feel special. So put the phone down, be present, and maybe — just maybe — order dessert. You’ve already spent $93. Go for it.