First Day of Spring: Nature’s blooming, and your baseboards are judging you

It’s the first day of spring, which means the birds are yelling, and we’re all pretending we’re excited to “freshen up” our homes. Translation: spring cleaning season has arrived to ruin everyone’s weekend plans.

A couple of surveys put numbers on what you already know in your soul: people say they spring clean, but they do not, under any circumstances, want to.

The spring-cleaning tasks people hate most

Roborock surveyed 2,000 people, and the results are basically a list of chores invented by someone who hates joy.

1. Washing windows inside and out — 26%
2. Dusting blinds and windows — 25%
3. Dusting shelves — 18%
4. Washing baseboards — 16%
5. Cleaning the oven — 15%
6. Washing the refrigerator inside and out — 15%
7. Vacuuming the floor — 15%
8. Dusting mirrors — 14%
9. Vacuuming lights and furniture — 11%
10. Cleaning and disinfecting the shower/tub — 11%

Not to be dramatic, but “washing windows inside and out” being No. 1 makes perfect sense. It’s the kind of task that starts as “quick and easy” and ends with you questioning every life choice that brought you to a ladder holding a paper towel roll.

Things people would rather do than spring clean

Now for the part that feels personal. In the same Roborock survey of 2,000 people, respondents said they’d rather do this than spring clean:

1. Go to the DMV — 34%
2. Run a mile — 34%
3. Read “Moby Dick” — 31%
4. Get a bad haircut — 22%
5. Eat peanut butter and jelly every day for lunch — 16%

If the DMV is tied with running a mile, that’s not a cleaning preference. That’s a cry for help.

Still, most people do it anyway (kind of)

A separate survey from ApartmentGuide.com found that 76% of people have an annual tradition of spring cleaning. Tradition is a strong word, but we’ll allow it.

Other findings:

• 12% try to get their significant other to do their spring cleaning.
• 12% hire a cleaning service to do it for them. (Respect)
• 27% say clutter is the biggest annoyance at home, followed by human and animal hair (18%) and dirt (15%).
• 49% of women do housework on an average day, compared with 20% of men.
• 76% of women and 55% of men say they get anxious or nervous when their home gets dirty and cluttered.

So yes, spring cleaning is a thing people do — or delegate, or attempt to delegate, or stress about while sitting near a pile of laundry they’ve been “meaning to fold” since February.

A realistic spring-cleaning plan for real people

If you’re celebrating the first day of spring and want to participate without spiraling, consider this your permission slip to start small.

• Pick one hated task and do it for 15 minutes.
• Stop before you “accidentally” empty every closet in the house.
• Reward yourself like you just ran a mile or went to the DMV, because apparently that’s the bar.

Happy first day of spring. May your windows be slightly less streaky and your baseboards remain blissfully ignored.