Peaceful Easy Feeling

By on June 19, 2017

Since becoming a SP (single parent) one of the things that I often hear from my coupled friends is, “Don’t you just love your alone time?” I think as parents – single or coupled – that answer would be, YES!  As a SP it’s just different.  I was trying to think of what made it so different and I think the two words that come to mind are total exhaustion.  As a SP it’s all you, so when you do get alone time you are exhausted down to the bone.  I find that I’m tired physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Some days it feels more like recovery time than it does free time.  I will have these visions of binge watching ‘House of Cards’, drinking wine and perusing my laptop.  Reality is falling asleep with Netflix still going, a half drunken glass of wine and my dog slobbering on me.  I know, totally hot.

Like most parents, I have always loved having my alone time. That magical time, when your significant other AND your kids are out of the house and you finally have YOUR house to yourself.  Oh my gosh…the word I think of is giddy. I remember one of my girlfriends, who loves to be naked(you know who you are!) telling me that her husband and kids were out of town so she stretched out naked on her couch eating Oreos and drinking wine.  We all crave this alone time! I think the biggest gift we can give ourselves to is enjoy this alone time and not feel guilty for looking forward to it and doing something for ourselves. It is too easy to stay in parent mode and shame ourselves with “should”.  I should go the grocery, Target, clean, laundry, shower…blah!

I was talking to my neighbor the day as he was getting ready to jump on his Harley for a beautiful Saturday morning ride. He was decked out in all his Harley gear and had a huge smile on his face. I was unloading my car from Target, Whole Foods, Costco – you get the picture.   As we talked he told me that he felt like he should be doing what I was doing.  I probably scared him when I yelled, NO!!! but I felt really passionately about him enjoying his morning ride.  You see, our weekends are the opposite with kids. I had mine inside the house and this was his weekend ‘off’.  I told him I’m jealous, a Saturday morning ride in the mountains sounded amazing and he needed to enjoy every moment of it.  I’m not sure if he left smiling because he was so happy to get away from my crazy passionate response to his ride or he was already having that peaceful, easy feeling. Cue The Eagles in the background.  Whatever the reason he left taking care of himself and left Target for another day.

xoxo Melissa

*My peaceful, easy feeling…”

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