Making Big Decisions is Difficult When It's ALL YOU

By on August 11, 2017

There is power in perspective! As a single parent (SP) we often have just ourselves to make the big decisions and little decisions in life.  One of the things I miss most about being part of a couple is having someone to talk my day over and work through decisions with.  Yes, I’ve got a great tribe, but when it’s midnight and I can’t find peace with a situation (and it’s not waking a friend up type of emergency) is when I really miss that available perspective.  What I’ve realized though is just how important it can be as a SP to get an additional point of view when I’m stuck in a situation or feeling.  I’ve called friends and started the conversation with, “Okay, tell me if I’m crazy …”  Sometimes, the answer is yep, your mind is on a hamster wheel and you need to jump off now! Other times it’s yea, I see how that is bothering you, have you considered__. It’s incredible how ‘real’ crazy thoughts can seem without a different view of the situation.

Recently a good friend of mine was offered a dream job, but she was getting ready to turn it down. I called to check on her and found her in tears.  Being a single mom she was overwhelmed by all that a change would mean and didn’t think she could do it. Moving, changing the kids’ schools (again) and starting over (again).  At that moment I was the one with a hawk’s eye view of the situation and was able to give her a perspective that allowed her to process it factually vs. emotionally.  It’s that saying that you can’t see the forest for the trees. That is so true when you’re in the thick of something; even harder when you’re a SP and trying to do it all alone.  She told me she felt like she was drowning but didn’t think she could grab the life raft that was being thrown to her.  Grab it Jack (Titanic reference here)!

I’m guessing that we’ve all had those moments where we feel like we’re drowning in life. I know I’ve had too many to count, so it was nice to be on the opposite end and be able to help.  Usually I’m the spinning top! It’s also such a powerful reminder as to how much we need each other!  Today as a SP I know the importance of needing a different point of view. What do you mean selling everything I own and moving to Mexico Costa Rica Belize to homeschool and start a cabana business isn’t a good idea?   I know that I possess all that I need to deal with difficulties (reminder to self here) and one of the tools in my arsenal is asking someone for their take.  It doesn’t mean that I’ll follow that sage perspective, but it always helps me process things a whole lot better.  That cabana idea still sounds really good by the way.

xoxo Melissa

*Those are my cabanas…  🙂