I’m barely back into the online dating scene and I already hate it (again 2x). For those of you in committed and content relationships, online dating is not glamorous or remotely fun. You love the Bachelor/Bachlorette? It’s absolutely nothing like that. There are no fabulous hot air balloon dates or jetting off to a foreign country. Online dating is more like riding along on your bike, singing your favorite song and biking through a huge batch of gnats which of course you’ve inhaled and are now spitting out. Also, just in case you’re wondering, there aren’t any firefighter calendar guys knocking down our door. Actually, one did reach out to me but I said no thanks after he used the term “cray-cray”. I digress, my issue recently with online men is the double standards that are so blatantly obvious!
Case in point; your average guy with a dad bod (totally fine by the way) will point out how important it is to him that ‘you take care of yourself’ and maintain a ‘healthy lifestyle.’ What the #$@! ?! In the meantime there are pictures of him and his dad bod (once again fine) drinking beers with his buddies, graying AND sporting a bit of a belly. Like most of us, he doesn’t look like he did in his 20’s, yet wants you to make sure ‘you take care of yourself’ and ‘live a healthy lifestyle’. Ummm…pot calling the kettle black party of 1. My other issue with this comment is the obvious objectification AND the fact that it’s implied that we women aren’t trying to take care of ourselves! It’s not like women post pictures that say, “I’ve given up on trying” on their profiles. Gosh, I wish I had my yoga pants and messy bun picture up!
Next, just about every guy has two standard pictures that they post. One is of them with their shirt off or holding their shirt up in their bathroom mirror. Obviously, these are the same guys that also post a picture of them looking serious with their headphones on in the gym mirror. Actually these two usually go together about 99 percent of the time. Some do look good, but I’ll be honest and tell you that I started judging how clean their bathrooms are and what products they use. Great six pack, BUT swipe left immediately if I see Axe Body Spray. Oh and on a side note- beach/lake/pool pictures serve the same purpose and look great!
The second standard guy picture is him holding out a fish as if it’s a sacrifice for the dating gods. My guy fishing friends post these same pics on their Instagram and Facebook. I kind of get it – it’s a hunter/gatherer thing. One guy took it to a whole new level though and posted a picture of him with a dead elk. Blood, gun, dead elk with glossy eyes and him smiling huge with his face inches from the dead animal. I will take this second as a PSA for a lot of women- most of us don’t want to see a dead animal and think of you being the one that killed Bambi or his siblings. You’re a stanger (danger!) and I visualize a Lifetime movie – me- missing and you the ‘lotion in the basket’ guy who kidnapped me. *This is nothing against hunters- just probably not the best for a dating site.
Lastly are the pictures that bothers me the most. It’s the pictures with young kids and the kids’ faces aren’t blurred out. I don’t know if I would be as sensitive to this if I wasn’t a mom, but this bothers me hugely. I would also say this to women too about posting; blur your children out. First for safety, secondly because the kids didn’t ask to be featured on a dating site. I understand that your children are important to you and I can see what you’re trying to say without seeing their faces.
Oh, lastly-lastly about pictures…please post a picture of just you as your profile picture. I see you with your hot friend and find myself disappointed when I scroll and see that it’s not you I found attractive! Harsh, but true. If I can’t figure out whose profile I’m looking at, then it’s probably not a good picture. I guarantee you that as women we’re not posting pictures of our hot friends on our dating sites. That’s just plain funny. Can you imagine our caption, ‘I’m the one in the middle. Nope not the hot blonde on the left… nope not the other sexy one either.” 😉 I’m the middle girl! That’s funny.
P.S. – I’m sure that we women have our own weird montage of online dating pics. Feel free to comment below and share. I can take it and would actually love to know! I hear I’m the only woman online that doesn’t share a bikini picture. Truth? I share the most revealing picture of me at a pool that I would ever show online. #SEXYKNEES