Do We Ever Feel Our Age??

Do we ever really ‘feel’ our age? My daughter turned 13 the other day and after a lovely friend announced, “I can’t believe you’re old enough to have a teenager!” it hit me – was I really old enough to have a teenager?  I mean chronologically I am old enough, but honestly I don’t feel like I’m at that age yet.  When I was a teenager I remember thinking how old my parents seemed at my age.  I see pictures and they even look way older than I feel today (sorry guys).  I’m pretty sure I don’t act my age and I’m also pretty certain that I don’t feel what I thought my age would feel like.  So, I’ve been wondering if we ever really feel our age?

As a kid I remember seeing adults who are my age now and thinking that they seemed very ‘adultish’. My parents were your typical WASPs driving a station wagon and a company car parked in the garage and a savings account in the bank. They were rarely meeting friends for happy hour or going out to a concert, unless it was Chicago or the Beach Boys.  Today, I’m the age my parents were back then and I honestly feel like I’m still geeky cool. I will also say that today, my parents are fun people! They meet their friends and have a little too much wine.  They travel, take cooking classes and seem to really enjoy life.  I don’t know if it’s me having a different perspective or if they have just started embracing life.  I actually think it’s the later.  I think that for some reason they didn’t give themselves permission to have fun and enjoy life until we kids were out of the house.  I don’t think that parents today feel that same hindrance of fun. I also wonder if this is why we don’t feel our ages today.

I think back to when I was a kid and I remember having friends whose parents went out and had fun. This was not the norm, but I also remember going to these ‘party parents’ house and guess what? They were fun! They were happy people with a great marriage and an atmosphere of fun in their home.  It wasn’t a house of debauchery, but instead a house with adults that didn’t forget to enjoy life.  I think that some of our parents believed that you couldn’t have fun and be a parent too.  If you find yourself thinking this today, we need to talk.  It’s not selfish to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Going out for a spa day with your girlfriends, weekends away, meeting friends for happy hour or having a date night – do it! I honestly believe that it’s good for our kids’ to see us enjoying life and cultivating our marriages and friendships.  I believe that its’ a balance; balancing our lives as adults and our lives as parents.  There is a certain amount of selflessness that we are required to have as a parent.  We all know this, it’s just a part of the parenting contract, but it doesn’t mean that fun has to die.

Writing this had lead me to the conclusion that parents/people who are living their lives and having fun don’t feel their age. I believe that we feel our age – we feel ‘old’ when the fun and spontaneity stops.  When we buy into how we should act and feel= we feel our age.  The question is where do these ‘shameful shoulds’ come from?  Who gets to decide what life at a certain age should look like? Why can’t older women rock long hair and torn jeans? Why can’t our parents have the Uber app on their phone for those crazy nights out with friends? Why can’t we choose to go see Kid Rock over Kenny G?  I think we have a choice in all of this.  We can be our grandparents sitting home and watching Jeopardy, or be the couple meeting for margaritas in the middle of the week before hitting the Kid Rock show.  I know for me, I will choose fun every single time.  I will choose the margaritas, nights at Red Rock or the glass of wine happy hours. Act my age?  No thanks.

Xoxo Melissa

My Dad teaching my daughter poker….And with my Dad & sister in Black Hawk