I have big news to share and I’ve been scared to share it! If you follow me on Facebook and Instagram (themelissamoore) you may have already figured it out. Yes, I have a boyfriend. No he’s not the inflatable I use in the HOV lanes, but a real guy. In fact, he’s awesome. He doesn’t lick my face, ghost me or any of the other weird dating experiences I’ve had. He’s normal. Not in a boring way, but in a really great and refreshing way. He is smart, funny and just an all-around great Midwest guy. He’s also a single dad to two great kids who are also sweet and normal! The best part, he is my friend and person that gets me just as I am. I feel like I’ve just been to confessional! I have been so nervous to say all of this out loud. It may sound dumb, but I was so afraid I’d ruin it by saying it.
Despite my disastrous dating life before Mr. Minnesota, I am thankful for all for all of the bad dates. I honestly look back and realize that I had to have the bad dates to really get clear on what was important. I also have to be honest and admit that I wouldn’t have been ready for #mrmn had I met him right after my divorce. Despite wanting a relationship, I wasn’t ready. As my niece calls me, I was a hot mess. I picked people to date who were also hot messes and then was shocked at their level of hot mess. My broken heartedness wasn’t attracting healthy and that’s not really a surprise. On the outside I was an M&M – hard candy shell – but put to the test and I was the messy M&M in a hot car. The one you sit on while wearing your white jeans and you’re swearing because you know it’s your fault.
To all my friends reading this and looking for love, don’t give up. Dating is haaarrrdd and not for the weak and you will no doubt feel like a giant failure. You are not a failure and you can’t give up. I was honestly ready to throw in the proverbial towel when I met my guy. I had just been on a date that I thought went well only to be blown off. Again. I was asking myself the usual questions, of what’s wrong with me?! I was ready to take a ‘Heart Break’ as Lady A sings and just be done. On the day of the date my sister knew I wasn’t feeling well (thanks to a nasty cold) and said “you should just cancel, it’s not like he’s going to be the one.” I believed he was different and I didn’t want to cancel our first date, so I didn’t. As she recently told me, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t listen to me!” YES!
I may not be on the ‘dating market’ any more, but honestly the challenges and lessons are still coming fast and furious. How do you do this relationship thing? Meeting the kids – how soon?? Meeting the family? Introducing him to mine…my daughter…my dog….oh my gosh…there is so much to share! Balancing friends – boyfriend – family…there isn’t enough time in the day! I have so much to start blogging about…maybe I should just rename this blog ‘My HotMess Life’. You’ll see what I’m saying as the weeks and blogs continue. As for now – carry on my single sistas and brothers! You’ve got this. We were made for hard stuff and we can do this. If you’re a single parent; you’re made of even heartier stock. We’re in this together – pinky swear.
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